Have you ever wondered if playing the flute is hazardous, or even dangerous? Well, it is.

Looking through a list of papers published by various medical journals, I was fascinated by the number of ailments specific to musicians, problems resulting from the activity of performing on a musical instrument. Most specialists are familiar with carpel-tunnel syndrome, occupational over-use syndrome, median-nerve entrapment syndrome, droopy shoulder syndrome, neurovascular syndrome, cubital tunnel syndrome, and fiddlers’ neck.

But what about peritendonitis crepitans, pronator teres syndrome, distal ulnar nerve entrapment syndrome and tenosynovitis? They sound serious! More specific to each instrument, have you heard of flutists’ neuropathy, guitar nipple, cello scrotum and pigmenturia of conga drummers?

Whoever would have thought that music making could be such a perilous occupation? As flute players, there are not many things that can go wrong, although there is flutist’s chin.. I wonder why we don’t get clarinettists cheilitis, bagpipers’ cryptococcus, gamba leg or viol paresthesia?

On a really bad day, perhaps we could excuse ourselves to the audience by claiming to be currently suffering from inverted mordent syndrome or vibrato tremens or perhaps piccolo pox!

I wonder what illnesses are lurking in the shadows waiting to be discovered?

Perhaps in fifty years, papers will be submitted on tympanist’s toe, cymbalists’ nose, oboists’ orifice, xylophonists’ xenophobia, jews’ harpists jaw, cornetists’ cramp, counter-tenors’ embarrassment, basoonists’ bottom, harpists’ hair loss, harmonica player’s frenzy, tuba players’ belly, violists’ humour, and conductors’ verbal over-use syndrome.

I am already suffering from Flutist’s Forboding...

This was prepared for the Flute Studio, a year long postgraduate course in Kent, England. Details: http://www.trevorwye.com/studio.page4.html

Trevor Wye spends his time giving concerts and master classes the world over including his well known presentation, The Carnival of Venice, for 60 flutes and piano. Besides travelling widely, he teaches at his Flute Studio in Kent and is Programme Director of the 2010 British Flute Society Convention and General Editor of The Flute Ark – the new flute encyclopedia:
www.fluteark.com
www.trevorwye.com